Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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