i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
