Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize