He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she peed on how many people?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
