come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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