She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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