so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
