Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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