if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize