Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This is my gift to your gina
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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