The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize