You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
