nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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