i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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