I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
