plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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