Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
