I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
