NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
