this boner is exhausting
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
