Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
