We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
