Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
