WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
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Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
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they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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