Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
