You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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