I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
