whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
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