I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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