I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
