Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
