okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
