A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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