Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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