dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Is this like a preordered booty call?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
