He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
