Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
