so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i think im in europe. pls send help
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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