Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
