Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
