Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
