It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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