he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
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The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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