Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
