we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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