I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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