Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
