Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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