hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
