I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
