i think my tv is drunk
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
