I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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