so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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