and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
