it was like his penis was on wheels.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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