well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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