Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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