Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
