i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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