Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's shark week go big or go home
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
