An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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