Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
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How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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